Quote of the Week: Urquico

a girl who readsMy upcoming anniversary has me pondering what advice I would give my son when he starts to date and then when he chooses a mate. He’s much too young to even consider it, but as most parents know, we spend lots of time contemplating our children’s futures, hoping and praying that we screw them up as little as possible. So, in light of my recent thoughts on this subject, I chose the following advice as the Quote of the Week. Enjoy.

“You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent.  Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.” { I love this part 🙂  }
―    Rosemarie Urquico

31 thoughts on “Quote of the Week: Urquico”

    1. None in the first two books; that’s as far as I got, so I can’t really say from experience. It’s a frequent criticism from people who’ve finished and didn’t like the series, though.

      1. Kate’s right. I read all four and there really is no change in the characters from book 1 to book 3, especially in the main character where you most expect it. She never really learns anything which is why readers found her annoying and she’s often referred to as a Mary Sue.

  1. This is so thought-provoking, Melissa! I think girls who read have insight and are careful about other people’s feelings. They know about emotions. They’ve imagined all sorts of marvelous adventures. They are likely to have dreams and they may even plan to achieve them! D

    1. Thanks Deanie. I agree. Books can teach you so much, including empathy as you stated. Every person has a story but we often jump to conclusions about a person’s behavior. We rush to judgement and give them labels based on what little knowledge we have about them. Books can give you a perspective that you may not ever be privy to in real life. I think this helps us to seek first to understand before we apply that label permanently.

    1. Yes! My 7 year-old daughter wants to be an author or a movie star {cringe} and my 12 year old son is an avid reader and loves to write (It could have something to do with his teacher this past year. She was just adorable.). He was given the Master of Words award at the end of the school year. So, maybe there is hope for a writer to make it in this household! 🙂

  2. Oh, such sage advice! I hope your son takes heed and treasures the reader he will date someday. (Great Lizzie photo! Love that Pride & Prejudice adaptation.) I’m picturing them bonding over the latest literary masterpiece.

  3. I saw this reblogged by Julian Froment. This was beautiful! I hope you don’t mind if I reblog it, too. I said similar things to my kids. Go for the geeks and readers. My husband and I are readers and made sure of that fact early in our dating days. Thank you for the words of wisdom!

  4. Brilliant post!!! Now, gee…where do I find a girl like this?

    Trying to find a girl that reads around my area or in my circle of friends is like trying to find Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster. It’s damn near impossible!!!!! 🙂

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