Excuse Me, But Today I’m Going to Vent

In January, I hurt my hamstring playing tennis. Yes, tennis. Like an idiot, I lunged for a ball that I probably couldn’t have reached anyway and ended up falling awkwardly. I’m sure it was a comical scene.

The next week, my family was going snow skiing, so I took it easy and leisurely skied down the greens while my family ventured the more difficult slopes. And then I rested for about a month or so, which seemed like an eternity to me. No tennis, no running, no biking, no Insanity, no P90X, no workouts, NO FUN. I routinely iced it and stretched out. I thought I’d allowed plenty of time for it to heal so I started working out again, but doing a simple burpee caused shooting pain.

I finally went to my general practitioner. His diagnosis: probably a minor hamstring strain. I needed to ice it and stretch but could go about my normal routine. Okay, I’d been doing that but apparently the hamstring takes longer to heal.

Can I work out?

Yes.

Yay!

So I started running and working out again but the pain didn’t get better. Back to the doctor who then referred me to an orthopedic specialist. After the initial consultation he thought it was just a slight strain.

Does this hurt?

No.

How about this?

No.

This?

No, but I can tell you what does hurt!

He didn’t think an X-ray was necessary but relented when I insisted. Turns out there was something on the X-ray after all, three white spots (calcium deposits), but I already knew that. They were from an old injury while playing soccer in high school. But, that’s not where the pain was. He diagnosed it as a hamstring strain and recommended physical therapy. He didn’t think an MRI would be necessary.

So I met with the physical therapist and he asked about the history of injury to my leg. I was surprised (and a little embarassed) when recounting all the times I’d injured my leg.

  • Fell off of the roof of the house when I was twelve and landed on my butt (right side).
  • Fell while running the hurdles in high school and landed on my butt (right side).
  • Strained the tendons in my right hip while playing soccer in high school.
  • Slightly tweaked my right hamstring from repeatedly jumping into the splits on a drill team in college.
  • Fell a few times while learning how to ride a road bike (always on my right side).
  • Fell off my road bike onto my right side when my tire blew. It sounded like a gunshot and freaked me out so bad I couldn’t clip out of my pedals fast enough.
  • Fell off my road bike onto my right side, yet again, when I was nearly mauled by a pit bull. I had just received a call on my cell phone and was slowing down to answer it when a pit bull charged me and scared the $#I% out of me.

This is what he looked like when he was charging toward me (sans restraints):

menacing pit bull2

Fortunately, it was just all for show, and after growling at me menacingly for a bit he ended up looking more like this:

harmless pit bull

Sheesh! Am I accident prone or what? And to add insult to injury (LOL), I’d been doing physical therapy for a few weeks when I was walking through my laundry room and slipped on starch that had been accidentally sprayed on the tile floor. My feet literally came out from under me and I busted my ass and guess what? It was my right side! Seriously? I just lay there, sprawled out on the floor, silently shaking my head.

066aBut wait, it doesn’t end there. I hurt my hamstring again when my little Malti-poo puppy got out. Here’s a picture of the little stinker. See why I risked life and limb (literally) to catch her? Pretty cute, huh? I was simply trying to catch her (she thought it was a game) before she darted down the street. I lunged (just as I had done in tennis months earlier) to grab her and felt shooting pain in my hamstring. Ugh!

Soooo, I went back to the orthopedic specialist this week and told him that my leg wasn’t healing. He went through the same routine as before.

Does this hurt?

No.

How about this?

No.

This?

No, but I can tell you what does!

He wondered if an MRI was necessary but relented when I gave him “the look.” It turns out there was something on it after all. I got the results yesterday:

  • Partial tear at the origin of the right common hamstring tendon.
  • Small tear in the right superolateral acetabular labrum (ring of cartilage that surrounds hip joint).
  • Simple appearing cyst, right adnexa consistent with ovarian cyst.

I have a torn hamstring tendon? Really? It’s not like I’ve been playing professional football. WTH. This means no running, period. It really sucks getting old. Oh, and I have an ovarian cyst, too. Probably not a big deal but just another thing to get checked out. Sheesh!

Okay, I’m done with my rant! Happy freakin’ Friday everyone! Guess I’ll go swimming…